Last week I had the chance to snag this beautiful Natibaby Sea Pearls wrap for a steal! I had been searching for the gray and white version of this, and didn't even know that this colorway existed. This is a no-cotton blend of bamboo and linen (80% bamboo and 20% linen). Bamboo is soft and squashy, but I'd heard that it could be a little saggy with heavier babies, so I was excited to try it blended with linen for support. 

First off, the color is amazing. It's a subtle tone on tone turquoise pattern that really shows up in the sun with amazing shimmer. It's as soft as a baby blanket and a little slippery. For that reason, it's probably not a great blend for a novice  wrapper. I was initially surprised with how difficult it was to keep track of when wrapping E on my back, the passes kept sliding around unless I kept it super snug. But once it was wrapped, it felt great. Cushy on the shoulders but felt solid. Not as rock-solid as Natibaby's cotton-linen blends, but pretty good for bamboo. Bamboo is also a snuggly warm blend because it holds in heat. It should be great for winter snuggles. 

It's not all rainbows and puppies over here. There is sweating and sometimes there is cursing under ones breath. There are feelings of "how did I never notice my arms are this short?" and the questioning of parenting choices. Babywearing has a learning curve, just like any skill or activity, and sometimes it can feel mighty steep. I wanted to address some of the feelings and concerns that I often hear from new babywearers, ones that I grappled with myself, and talk about strategies that helped me become more confident and competent in our babywearing relationship. Some of these might seem silly and some profound, but they've all been important steps on our journey.

Obstacle #1: It's just too hard.

Some ways of babywearing ARE hard. Complicated. Fussy. 

The first trick is finding what works for you. Are you more of a buckle carrier gal? Maybe a mei tai is a nice compromise between a wrap and a soft-structured carrier. We tried a lot of different carriers before finding the ones that work for us. And different carriers are useful in different situations and for different ages. We found a local chapter of Babywearing International, where we could try lots of different carrier types and even check them out for a 30-day period. That really helped us discover our likes and dislikes.

The second trick is PRACTICE. Practice, practice, practice. For me, that was picking one woven wrap carry each week that I would try every day. Some of those I never tried again, while others became part of our core repertoire. Rarely was there a carry that I nailed on the first, or third, or 10th attempt. Usually somewhere between three and fourteen tries I felt pretty confident. During all this practice, I really started to nail the basics like creating a nice deep seat, getting the fabric from knee to knee, tying a slip knot, and getting baby onto my back. It takes time, but it's worth it!

Obstacle #2: I look stupid.

You don't look stupid, I promise, but people can be opinionated, and not shy about telling you what they think, especially when children are involved (why? I don't know, that's a totally different post). It can be intimidating to walk out the door wearing your baby (or *gasp* put them in the carrier or wrap them in public!), when you know that not everyone is used to seeing it. People stop me all the time to ask me questions and offer comments. 99% of the time these have been curious people who are awed and impressed by how the heck I got my baby on my back, but, sometimes people are put off by the unfamiliar and can be a little snarky. A little knowledge goes a long way, so here are some quick comebacks for common questions/comments that won't start a fight (hopefully).

• Q: How did you do that?!?!            A: Lots of practice!
• Q: You've got your hands full!          A: Actually I've got both hands free!
• Q: He/she will never walk if you carry him/her like that.          A: I don't think it's any different from sitting in a stroller.
• Q: You'll spoil him/her.         A: Food spoils, babies don't.
• Q: Can I help you with that?              A: No thank you, it's safer for me to do it myself. (Unless you want help!)

Obstacle #3: He/She doesn't like it.

This is a tricky one, because it can appear to be true in the beginning. This is where a lot of parents/caregivers give up on babywearing, because who want to force their baby to do something they don't enjoy? The truth is, almost all babies enjoy being worn. What most parents experience and interpret as dislike, is actually baby responding to your anxiety or lack of confidence. Babies are like little radars for emotion, they can tell when we are sad, scared, happy, or excited and respond accordingly. It's survival for them! They don't know enough about the world to interpret it on their own, so they rely on us as parents to show them what emotions go with what situations.

It can be really difficult to put away the mindset of worry while learning to babywear. What if baby gets fussy while I'm wearing him/her in public? What if he/she refuses to get back in the carrier? What if I take him/her out and can't get him/her back in? These are all totally valid thoughts. But next time baby starts to fuss while being worn, think about your state of mind. Are you anxious? Try some deep breaths and bouncing, telling baby "you are safe, mama/dada's got you" and see if it gets better. It might work!

A soft structured carrier, or SSC, is a carrier that many people are familiar with. It involves a soft, padded body with shoulder straps, often with a waist belt and buckle fasteners. Common brands include the ErgoBaby, Beco, Boba, Tula, Kinderpack, and Baby Bjorn (although the last is quite different from the others and we'll address that too).

This image from Dearest Diapers is a great visual comparison of some popular soft structured carriers. We own an Ergo Performance, which is the same structure as the regular Ergo, but made out of material that is supposed to add breathability to the carrier. We also have a Beco Gemini carrier in organic cotton. 

A list of various SSCs comparing measurements and features

The Ergo is widely available at many retailers including Target and is therefore becoming more and more common. For infants under 10 lbs, there is an additional "infant insert" that provides additional body and head support. We found that E hated the infant insert, but she also hated being swaddled. If your little one enjoys the comfort of confinement, they will probably do well with it. E is also extremely petite and it wasn't until she was about 11 months old that she was able to see over the straps of the carrier without being boosted up. We used the cushion part of the infant insert under her bum to help her see until then. Many people say that their typical or larger-sized babies grow out of the carrier quickly, and as you can see above, it's one of the smaller SSCs in knee to knee length and back height. One thing I would have done differently is to get the regular cotton Ergo rather than the Performance version. The Performance fabric is a bit rough and inflexible while I've seen cotton versions that break in nicely. I don't think the Performance version was significantly cooler either.

A couple of notes on the Baby Bjorn. While it does fall into the category of SSC, it is not considered the best option by many. Some will tell you that it causes hip problems in babies, but that isn't entirely true. You would have to wear your baby in the Bjorn almost constantly to impact hip development and there is no medical evidence that it will impact hip and spine development negatively (not that it hasn't happened, but there is no scientific evidence). That being said, the Bjorn places all weight on the wearer's shoulders and the baby balances their weight directly on their groin, both of which are uncomfortable, especially as baby gets older. Even recent models of the Bjorn with lumbar support do not distribute weight adequately for the wearer the way that other ergonomic carriers do. I've included some links and diagrams to try and illustrate why you might consider another carrier over the current Bjorn models. Baby Bjorn is rumored to be releasing a new ergonomic carrier with a front facing option that is meant to be more along the lines of other ergonomic carriers. The photo below shows the difference in weight distribution with a narrow-base carrier like the Bjorn and an ergonomic carrier like the Ergo. You can see the carrier on the right distributes the weight from knee to knee, like sitting in a chair, while the carrier on the left puts the weight on the groin, like sitting on a balance beam.

Whichever carrier you currently have or choose to buy, your baby will get all the great benefits of being carried and worn close to your heart. I encourage you to explore all the options, either by attending a babywearing class or trying out different carriers at a knowledgable store or at your local Babywearing International chapter.

**a note that I do not endorse any one carrier over another, these are just my personal experiences to date. I have not tried every carrier mentioned in this post**

Wool is scary. Wool is temperamental. Wool is scratchy. 

When I considered purchasing this wrap, I posted a question in a FB babywearing group about caring for wool. How do I wash it? How do I break it in? The responses were as long as my arm; not too much friction, not too much heat, careful about water, use a special soap and conditioner - blah, blah, blah. Oh my goodness what was I in for?

What I've learned in a nutshell is that wool has three enemies, but they work in teams: heat, friction, and moisture. As long as you keep the three separate, your woolie will be happy. No dryer because that uses heat and friction, no washer because that uses all three, don't hand wash in water too hot, don't wring it out when wet, etc.  That being said, I've been too chicken to wash it yet. But, I've been braiding it and running it through rings for a few days.

Today it was finally below 85 degrees and 90% humidity, so we decided to give Audrey a whirl. Our Audrey is a size 5, which is on the long side for me. I wore E in a Christina's Ruckless Back Carry (CRBC) with the tails tied Tibetan rather than around my waist. 

First let's talk about the fabric itself. Audrey is incredibly thin. I always thought wool would be thick and fluffy, but this is light and airy. The purple cotton is a lovely muted true purple and the wool is called olive, but is more of a gray-olive. It looks ecru in lots of photographs, but is much darker in real life. The photo above is very true to color. Our Audrey is almost brand new and needs a lot of breaking in, so there is a prickly feeling to it still, although while wearing it didn't bother me at all with the chest belt right on my skin.

I will be curious to wear this in other carries as well. CRBC is a triple-pass carry and inherently supportive, but this felt awesome on my shoulders. It felt flexible and bouncy without being saggy or diggy. After a 30 minute walk and a venti hot coffee, we were still cool and comfortable. This wrap is almost breezy! I swear the ventilation on it was amazing. As far as supportive goes, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being a stretchy wrap and 10 being Natibaby linen (I have purple dinos and there is nothing more supportive that I've tried!), I would call this a 7. Again, I need to try a few more carries to compare.

Overall impression is that this is going to be wonderful for fall and winter and is beautiful to boot!

E's first birthday had me reminiscing about how simple we had strived to make her first year on Earth. We started with lots of stuff, but most of it fell away as we discovered what was really useful. The crib gathered dust as we came to accept cosleeping as the best option for our family, the stroller never came out of it's storage spot, and I struggled to maintain a minimal number of toys that inspired imagination and learning. 

Wrapping became not only a day-to-day necessity for us, but a hobby and passion for me. I made a goal to master one new carry a week (some of which I'm still struggling with) and was eager to try as many different kinds of wraps as I could. Thanks to the Babywearing Swap on Facebook (enter at your own risk!) I was able to buy, sell, and trade wraps until I found those that suited us best. But somewhere along the way, I took a wrong turn into cherishing the wraps more than wrapping. I found myself awake in the middle of the night stalking a new release from a high end wrap maker and waking up exhausted the next morning. I was spending way too much time on my phone browsing these simple pieces of cloth, and not enough time investing in all the little moments of my daughter's life. 

So the past few weeks I've been working on condensing my "stash" to just those wraps we love and which have the most use for us. I'm enjoying writing this blog and sharing the love with other new moms. So many mamas helped me when I was learning the ropes and I'm hoping to pay it forward. A few days after E's birthday, we went for an evening walk and a dinner picnic by the Lincoln Park Zoo. As we got ready to eat, I spread a wrap on the ground for us to sit and eat on. My husband reacted with shock at my willingness to potentially soil one of my prized possessions, but the moments shared with my little family as the sun set were worth more than a stain or two. It's just fabric after all :)